Being Bipolar at Work

How best to manage mania and depression in the workplace

Bipolar at Work?

There’s no getting round it. Work is a key part of life. We spend at least half of our waking lives there, so it pays to take it seriously and ensure you’re in the right environment for your mind, especially if you occasionally struggle with a mental health condition like bipolar.

We all need to work, not just for money, but for self esteem, fulfilment, confidence, purpose, contributing to society etc.

Many bipolar people naturally struggle at work, as it can be a highly debilitating condition.

It entails lots of fun things like rapid cycling moods, manic phases, depressive phases, paranoia, psychosis, impulsivity, lack of insight, overconfidence and disordered thought patterns to contend with, and that’s piled on top of all the usual stresses and strains of everyday life which everyone battles of course.

That doesn’t mean you should write bipolar people off in the workplace of course. We can and do hold down jobs for long stretches, especially while in a more managed, stable phase, even pretty high powered ones.

Hell, I’m somehow managing to do it while actually manic currently, wrestling with a mixed manic state and rapid cycling moods.

We have many gifts to offer a good, patient employer. And many of us are fairly high functioning, intelligent, articulate, creative, driven, sensitive people too of course.

All of which should be seen as assets by the right employer.

Disclosing your Diagnosis

So what if you’re bipolar or have some other, similarly serious mental health condition?

Should you disclose your diagnosis anyway? Who should you trust, when and how should you tell them? Should you even tell them at all?

And should you simply try to avoid work, people and social media in particular while you’re manic, lest you risk embarrassing yourself and upsetting others? Damage limitation n all that.

Might it scare some people off, burden them in some way, or worse yet, make them think you might be unreliable, volatile, chaotic, a loose cannon?

Perhaps they simply won’t know how to act around you or handle you? Or they’ll handle you with kid gloves when it’s frankly unnecessary?

How should you reassure them that all will be fine, if they just keep faith in you and hang on for a bit?

Few managers or HR people get that level of specific training after all.

Behavioural Issues at Work

I’ll be honest. I can get a bit irritable at times, particularly when manic. I can definitely get a little waspish and snappy sometimes too, though never at work, and generally only with people I know pretty well these days.

I’ve got much better at managing that as I’ve grown older and wiser, with more awareness of my condition, some therapy, medication and medical advice and more insight into my tendencies.

Problems with Bipolar & Online Communication

I avoid wading into political debates online, for example, for this very reason. And I’m not even terribly politically engaged.

In my opinion Twitter has been largely ruined by people from differing political and ethical standpoints picking pointless fights and casually throwing around insults.

Some people with big enough followings can even stir up mass pile-ons, which just make things so much worse for everyone, potentially ruining someone’s mental health.

It’s not that I don’t have any political opinions mind. It’s more that I don’t entirely trust myself when manic, especially when I’m feeling a tad more confident and argumentative than usual.

Also I can be fairly sensitive and generally hate confrontation. Why bother exposing yourself to stuff that could be detrimental to your mental wellbeing? Life’s too short for that nonsense.

So yeah, it’s best to approach Twitter with some caution, especially these days.

Aggressive? Well bipolar rage is definitely a thing. But I’m very rarely aggressive myself, hardly ever in fact.

Possibly even violent? Well no, I’m definitely not that of course, never have been, but some people with all manner of mental health difficulties can be of course. Let’s be honest here. It happens.

How on earth do you manage that in the workplace?

Might disclosing your diagnosis actually harm your prospects when job hunting?

Tricky one this. Opinion appears to be divided still. Yes, we’ve come a long way baby in terms of combatting mental health stigma and ignorance, but there’s still a long old information highway ahead.

So how do you know that an employer is genuinely inclusive about conditions like this?

Of course these days most half decent employers will SAY they are, probably with some obligatory flannel about ‘welcoming applications from people from diverse backgrounds, including non-neurotypicals blah blah blah’, but they would say that nowadays, wouldn’t they?

So how can you possibly suss out the fakers from the quakers when job hunting? I don’t have the answer really.

I suppose the proof is in the proverbial pudding. Hopefully some HR hotshot can wade in on that one in the comments. Hmm, nice fudge Jools!

Education, that’s what I need

I do tend to think nowadays that it’s my duty to educate people about bipolar when appropriate and when I can, and that includes my colleagues and managers.

To signpost people a little, if you will, share my experiences, for what they’re worth.

Just like I’m doing right here, right now.

Ahhh, noooo, it’s song time again folks, quick, cover your ears, run for cover!

Hey, at least I spared you the Jesus Jones one.

I firmly believe that mental health stigma can only be broken down by talking about it candidly, openly and honestly, with passion, sincerity and compassion.

Trouble is, that in itself has almost become something of a well-trodden cliche nowadays, hasn’t it?

These days seemingly every well-adjusted Tom, Dick and Harry seems to share stuff about their ‘mental health’ on social media. And maybe that’s no bad thing in the long run.

But this naturally means it can dilute the impact of important conversations which need to be had about some of the more severe or profound conditions like bipolar, schizophrenia, various personality disorders etc.

The Treachery of Words & Language

Just had an interesting Twitter discussion about this very issue in fact. I was asking if it’s still ok to use the word ‘mental’ if you’ve been diagnosed with a mental health condition yourself.

Someone then made the excellent point that ‘if you wouldn’t use the word yourself, don’t use it all.’

Dear God, I am sounding very worthy now aren’t I? Best book my slot on Oprah and plug my next Ted Talk!

But all that said, don’t get me started about ‘regular people’ casually bandying about terms like bipolar in a jokey fashion.

Like, ‘oh the weather today is so bipolar.’ Yeah, just don’t ok? Gets my goat.

See, told you I can get a touch irritable still.

Disclosing your Diagnosis

Anyway, I was naturally hesitant about telling people about my diagnosis at first. I told very few people after I got diagnosed back in 2020 (and that was during the first lockdown too, which obviously complicated matters).

I didn’t plaster it all over facebook, not like I seem to do nowadays. I mostly tried to make sense of it privately, read up on it a bit and went down some rabbit holes there of course, as I am wont to do.

So yes, I did the work, as they say. This all kicked off for me around the time when the Pandemic first struck, when frankly I did not have much paying freelance work to keep me occupied. So that probably helped.

I did my research, like any good journalist would. I dug into Quora in a big way and also found much solace and enlightenment on sites like the Mighty.

I did have a few confidential messenger chats here and there about it. The odd fireside conflab with my oldest and dearest friends, but that was it.

I only told my brother last summer, not that he listened. I dare not tell my poor mother to this day.

She has enough on her plate frankly, with a long history of depression and paranoid schizophrenia and now dementia too, just to spice that little cocktail up. We’ll come to all that another time perhaps.

But these days I’m pretty open about it all really. Alarmingly so according to some. Frankly, I’d probably tell the postman right now.

One perfectly well-meaning and sincere friend told me to delete a few tweets I posted about it, lest I jeopardise my ‘professional reputation’ while job hunting. And at the time I did.

But then again I am quite easily swayed too. Something of a natural people-pleaser, not to mention a worry-worm, a chronic overthinker as well. So there’s that.

Oh, hang on. I think I feel another song coming on. Ah it’s no use, resistance is futile!

Anyway, back to the work question.

Should you even tick that little box on the application form that asks if you have any medical conditions or need any special accommodations when applying?

Well I do tick the box these days and disclose it, I did when I applied for my current role too. But I obviously don’t ask for any ‘special help’, because I don’t think I need it and I like to think I’m fairly high functioning anyway.

Being Bipolar at Work

So you’ve got a good job now (well done, by the way!) and you’re feeling pretty stable: what next?

How should you handle your condition in the workplace?

When it comes to those already employed somewhere I think much hinges on the actual culture of your workplace. Note that’s actual, not aspirational, culture.

Workplace Toxicity

I have worked in some pretty toxic environments. That’s one of the reasons why I eventually struck out as a freelancer back in 2010.

I was horrendously bullied by a senior colleague in a previous permanent role, actually an otherwise very enjoyable and well paid job, all told.

This plunged me into a huge depression that endured for months. I went off with stress and depression while I licked my wounds, took my boss to tribunal and tried to figure out my next career move.

This came hot on the heels of being threatened with redundancy too.

That was then suddenly back pedalled on at the eleventh hour, after I’d already started to make some plans about what I was going to do with the cash.

I was busy looking into various courses, considering travel plans and generally figuring out what I was going to do professionally.

I was even given a slight promotion, believe it or not! Well maybe I actually deserved it. Talk about mixed messages though.

Same thing happened some years ago while working part time, while juggling freelancing, for a travel firm.

I was on a decent freelance retainer there, but the company then got acquired by a bigger fish in the pond and that was that.

The news was broken to me by phone while I was away on a rail press trip around central Europe.

They had to let me go while they secured positions for their permanent staff, which was fair enough.

I never heard from them again, despite various vague promises of freelance work.

Though looking back, perhaps I didn’t deal with these situations as well as I might. Lacking insight at the time when undiagnosed. Hmm.

But that was then, and this is now.

Working in a Good Place

Nowadays I’m very lucky to be working somewhere with a genuinely positive culture, populated by good, decent, reasonable people. They walk it like they talk it.

I can safely say that there’s no back biting, no office politics, no toxicity whatsoever.

People actually seem happy to be there. Morale is good.

There are initiatives and programmes in place to build and promote colleague engagement and recognition.

Business is booming and they treat us very well indeed. Flexitime, hybrid working, a lively and friendly Teams channel, a decent office with good amenities nearby.

They even have very approachable and knowledgeable mental health first aiders, free confidential advice lines, the works.

Unsurprisingly, staff retention is crazy good.

So yeah, they’re a nice, kind, supportive bunch.

So I knew I had little to lose by just being open about it, when I felt the time was right.

And here’s how I actually ‘outed myself’ to my lovely colleagues, just the other week:

‘So I have something I feel the need to share with you all today...

Some of you know this already I know, but basically I'm bipolar. I'm completely open about it these days btw. I'm currently in the midst of a slight manic episode you see.

So if you're finding me a bit chattier and more upbeat than usual, a wee bit unusual perhaps, that's probably why.

Then again it can be VERY hard to tell. Where does one's natural energy, drive, cheeriness, creativity, confidence, sparky personality etc end and mania begin? I still struggle with that one to be honest.

Insight can be an elusive beast. It probably means I talk about myself more too. Just like I'm doing right now in fact! Ha! It also means I tend to write more, and faster than usual.

I type away here at home, hammering away at those keys, chain vaping all the while of course. Not sleeping much but powering on through for now. I actually feel really very good, on fire in fact, but then I would say that anyway wouldn't I? 

Bipolar Battles at Work

That’s not to say that it’s all plain sailing of course.

There are issues like burnout and overextending yourself to factor in.

Then there’s everyday stuff like managing your over-active brain, especially during a manic episode with rapidly cycling moods, when you perhaps tend to overestimate your abilities and juggle multiple tasks, thoughts and ideas. This article quite brilliantly describes this process.

It is a constant battle you must wage as a bipolar person to harness your abilities, whether manic or not, organise your thoughts and generally keep on top of stuff.

Productivity and Focus at Work

This is a tricky one. Pop up notifications can help me for example, typically those found on popular productivity apps like Slack and Teams, and I tend to thrive on the chatter these apps engender too, particularly when manic, but they can also easily overwhelm me if I’m not careful.

It’s a bloody minefield!

Focus is obviously a big problem. It’s not that I can’t focus on anything when manic, you understand.

It’s more that I can’t focus on EVERYTHING. That sure doesn’t stop me from trying though!

I often have at least a dozen or so browser tabs open at any one time for instance.

Lots of neurotypical people do that too I know. But that’s NOTHING compared to how busy my brain is, particularly when manic.

I have so many mental browser tabs open at any one time I couldn’t possibly count them all, let alone keep track of the blighters.

Apps that help

I use handy free apps like Todosit to keep on top of some of the more important tasks fairly effectively, but I still also need to use good old fashioned pen and paper too.

And even then I still tend to forget things. My brain is just a little busier than the average bear’s, you see. It’s just the way I’m wired.

Here’s a little homespun wisdom on that note from the great narrative country songwriter Jason Isbell for you.

‘Sometimes it’s nothing but the way you’re wired and that’s not your fault. We’re all struggling with the world on fire and the fear we’re taught.’

Depression and Stress at Work

So what should you do when a depressive phase strikes?

How much paid sick leave do you get and how much can you actually afford to take off, when doing even the most basic things like getting out of bed, showering, getting dressed, making lunch, going outside for a walk and brushing your teeth etc drains all your energy? Some days are just like that.

(And while we’re on the subject, here’s probably my favourite song about male depression, in case you’re interested, or even if you’re not.)

‘But did you ever notice the kinda thoughts I got? You know I have a love for everyone I know. And you know I have a drive to live. I won’t let go.

But can you see its opposition comes rising up sometimes? That its dreadful imposition comes blacking in my mind.

And then I see a darkness. Did you know how much I love you? Is there hope that somehow you can save me from this darkness?’

So how do you manage it and what do you do?

Do you try to gamely battle on regardless? Show up anyway. Keep schtum and just suck it up.

How sustainable might that be for your mental health in the longer term?

Yes, you could try talking about it to someone of course. A sympathetic ear always helps.

But then again, you don’t want to become a burden, do you?

And people are so busy, especially at work, with their own stuff, tasks, people and issues to manage.

How much time do your boss or your colleagues really have for a needier than average worker?

So you can see just how easily you can talk yourself out of doing that.

These are the typical thought patterns I have battled with in the past. Still do if I’m totally honest.

Unlearning these bad mental habits, trying to rewire your brain and quietening persistent negative thoughts is essential of course, but it’s also so very hard.

‘It’s OK to not be OK’, goes the much-taunted slogan. But is it really?

Who gets to decide that anyway? How much ‘toxic positivity’ can you even handle when depressed?

Positive Reinforcement and Being Your Weird Self Works

Above all else, if all else fails, just be yourself at work and in life in general.

Manic, stable or depressed, people will either get you, appreciate you, tolerate you or not.

This is my approach nowadays. It seems to be working so far at work anyway.

‘There's only one thing that I know how to do well.
And I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well. And that’s be you. Be like yourself.’

Anyway, let’s try to end things on a more positive note now.

These issues can be quite tricky to navigate for everyone involved, but working alongside patient, mature, supportive, kind, basically decent people sure does make all the difference.

A little positive reinforcement goes a long way though. I can tell you that.

What do you think?

How have you managed your mental health successfully at work?

How have you learnt from previous experiences, good or bad?

How has it affected your job search?

What key questions do you ask at interviews now?

Please share these in the comments, ta.

So ‘til next time folks, keep reading, keep learning, stay well - and of course ‘don’t worry, be happy.’

Now I used to think this was a fairly cheesy, trite song, particularly when depressed, but I quite like it now actually.

A good sentiment, a strong, catchy tune, and the whole a cappella body music thing is very clever too.

Anyway, I’d best shut up now, ha!